Why Friends Matter

Last night I went on a garden tour. A local couple have been developing an edible garden for the past 15 years. It was eye opening, tasty, and beautiful. I could have stayed all night if not for the mosquitos. I need to find out what plants drive away mosquitos.

Every stop on our way around the yard had some amazing story, surprise fact, or a plant I've never heard of (there were loads of those). We ate something at most of the stops, service berries, edible flowers, leaves. Sometimes we enjoyed the smell of lemons fresh from the tree, pineapple sage, and a smelly leaf from a plant I forget.

The whole picture of a yard was green, lush, and alive. Years of trying new things, solving problems, enjoying successes. As I considered the friends I'd gone with and the new ones I'd met there, it occurred to me how much alike friends and gardens are. The more time you spend on them the richer they both are. It is cliché I know, but it is an axiom at this point. 

I was there surrounded by thriving vegetation because of my connection to friends. One friend said under no uncertain terms that she would come by to pick me up. She did it, too! Another friend set up the tour. Several more arrived for the event. I've not felt this at peace since I was a child. Ironically, that was when I last had any semblance of a garden.

Tonight, I made my garden commitment. I bought soil and created my own raised bed garden. As I planted each start and seedling, I saw the group of us laughing and walking together. Filling my plot with fruits and veggies was a physical manifestation of friendship, a creation of that night in my own yard. Ultimately, a way to be there anytime I want, with my friends, and my plants. That matters to me.

Whine and Cheeses

Two things came to my attention this week. First and especially embarrassing because I should remember, is that there are chronic illness groups that are more complaining about the illness then actual support to feel better. I'm all for venting, but when my inbox is filled by odes to pain and suffering, I feel worse. Then I delete everything wholesale. Then I miss something I really wanted to read. Then I fish through my trash folder trying to find it. Finally, I give up and move on.

The second thing that his me was the use of the word "cheeses" as a substitute for Jesus. One example is "Cheeses rice". I was told if you say it fast enough it's "Jesus Christ." If a person has to go to all that trouble, why not just learn something entirely different like "dirty laundry." An example of that in context, "You didn't get all your homework done? Dirty laundry!" What about this one, "yard waste," as in "Yard waste, I meant to go to the post office today."

 My kids used to say "dentist." They got this from that Christmas special where they are all over Hermie, the elf that wants to be a dentist. It sounded so bad that the guys thought it was a swear word. For weeks I heard "You DENTIST!" whenever one or the other was mad. It was funny at first but then you really get the intent when your red-faced 5 year old want's his toy vacuum cleaner back from his brother. 

I guess I'm on negativity. If you are feeling poorly, concentrate of the funny stuff. I you are angry, find an expressive word that doesn't hurt feelings. I try to ask myself one thing everyday, "Did I hurt more or help more today?" I am the only one who can change how I am in the world and how I perceive the world around me. I choose to be happy, and positive, you can bet your dog's leash on that!

Polly want a pain pill

Remember when you were a kid and you got into a word war with a sibling? My sister and I would start picking at each other until feelings were really hurt. What started a simple disagreement became the feud of the century. It ended with the inevitable "You know what you are doing? You are talking about yourself!"

Well, I realized that when I blog, I talking to myself. It's like Mike Birbiglia's Secret Public Journal. The major difference is that I'm not funny, at least I'm not a trained professional. Reading back over my blogs, I discovered that I repeat myself a lot. How embarrassing! 

But wait.

I have internalized these messages now. It's like I have to keep saying it, writing it, reading it, until it's in there. I am amazed how many times it takes to really get a hold on things. I like to fancy myself a smart person but my need to perseverate says otherwise. At least I can be metacognative about it. Thank goodness for all that college. 

Thankfully, it's in there. Now I can get a parrot and teach it to repeat itself.  What do you think of that, Marv?

Bump, thump, grump, grump

I fell off the wagon for a few weeks. Just when I think I've hit the last bump, there is another one! No way! Seriously, no way! I don't have anything new diagnosis wise or otherwise. No, I get complacent. That is dangerous.

I start to feel good for a while. I can walk for thrity minutes. I can do yoga. I can sit and type this blog. Heck, I had even increased my sleep to two chunks of three hours. That is big news for me. Then I added just one to many things. I felt the wagon pull away and my methaphoric butt hit the rocky ground.

Ouch! Grump, grump!

Two things I must remember. One I have to maintain a schedule to keep the wagon under me. Two there will be more bumps all the time. Life is not bump free. I also don't have to let the bumps run my life. And there is always chocolate.

I contain my garden success!

My container gardens are really booming! I have strawberries, tomatoes, lettuce, melons, cucumbers, and flowers. I am looking forward to expanding things a little when I put the melons in the ground so they can spread out. Ah the optimism is palpable.

Working on the gardens keeps my mind off the pain. I also am outside more. Sunshine and pre-occupation are great for diverting attention. I also learned that more pain doesn't mean new injury. What a load off my mind. Now, I'm off to take a load off my feet!

Mom's conspiracy theory- guess what? It's true!

When I was a kid, my mother often talked about planned obsolescence. She said it was building things so they would break. In my naive youth, I thought "How crazy is that?! Why make something if ti's just going to break?" As it turns out, mom was right.

I went to a website recommended by another friend. There in black and white and Adobe Flash player whatever, was a woman laying it all out for me. With crystal clarity and sequential precision Annie Leonard laid out where we are, how we got here, and what we can do about it.

I encourage everyone to drop by http://www.storyofstuff.com and read what my mother knew. I am forever changed by watching this. I can see that my ideas of happiness and well being are false ones designed by someone in an office somewhere. Never again.

We are the people, the one's who give consent to be governed. Remember that and act accordingly. Take your joy, happiness, and health back. I'm taking mine. We can be as happy as we were in the 1950's or earlier.

More news from the garden and the word processor

Our carrots and lettuce have sprouted! I am so happy that I haven't killed everything. I've seen some action with the cucumbers and watermelon too. This is al very promising. The peppers and tomatoes that I bought at the farmer's market are still doing well, too. 

It's amazing what I can do when I'm not in agony all the time. I will be going to a photography class tonight with a friend and my creative writing is really taking off. I'm working on a new short story that i hope to have out in the mail by next week. That makes 2 stories! Hurray!